It is our central role to come into contact peacefully with the broken hearted person in his/her space. The magic of an encounter is that each interaction can be like a grace that showers its mist over a person’s broken heart. These encounters form memories that eventually guide or orient the person to a life based on one’s own goodness and to a groundedness that will point the person in
Whether in the early childhood years or in broken-hearted adults, we actually need to focus on teaching or re-teaching the that it is simply good to be together, then this leads to us doing things together, and finally teaching, after a time, or re-teaching the child or adult that it is good to do things with and for others—the highest moral dimensions. At this point, an ensuing sense of connectedness
Within these dimensions there are other moral milestones such as learning to share, a giving up, momentarily, of what is yours; learning to wait and to take turns; wanting others to be proud; and, learning when enough is enough—self-control. We all have to learn these milestones. Each requires a groundedness that we refer to as safe and loved. These phenomena are absolutely necessary for all further moral development. At this
Gentle Teaching is not about hugs: it is about teaching marginalized others the feeling of safe and loved and deepening its meaning through culturally meaningful rituals and customs. The use of the word to bring us together is a universal fact and its power can be used to lift up a person or slam a person down. We often find it difficult to dialog with marginalized individuals with words filled
Our words must be as strong, loving, and meaningful as a hug. Each syllable or utterance that comes from our vocal cords should float out of our mouths as if they were the warmest possible embraces. Our talk does not have to be fancy; it must be genuine and focused on the person’s goodness. As part of our dialog, we need to sharpen our story-telling skills, not fantasy stories, but
The heaviest sorrowful memories can actually be seen in most people. The head is bowed and the eyes are closed in a slave-like posture, hunched over, eyes, watching fearfully, face taught, feet shuffling back from us. Eyes take on a deep emptiness as if looking at the living dead or dart back and forth ready to fight or flee from caregivers, indicating sad memories and a sense of despair. The
Whether a mother, father, grandparent, fiend, or a person that we are supporting, the most important variable is the moment, not the future, not a projected plan with outcomes, not behavioral change. No, it is our being present in this very moment and all the the person sees, hears, touches, and feels in this mutual coming together. It is the tiniest amount of time, perhaps two or three seconds. Then,
Today’s business management approach has thrown up many barriers to care giving. This is not to imply that money and accountability are not important, but that accountants are servants to marginalized people just as we are. In many of today’s agencies those “served” are merely seen as cost lines and money management takes precedence over helping persons to feel safe and loved. We need to simplify and by simplifying we
The caring community involves a series of collective moments or moments that can be transformed into personal and collective experiences that further defines or strengthen the nature of the community. When individuals feel safe and loved there is a strengthening of the entire group that potentiates the collective sense of community and this makes the caring community deeper and broader. When a single person feels safe and loved, we can
In the flow of the day there hundreds of opportunities in the moment to moment unfolding of life. These are made up of smiles, winks, waves, embraces, touching a shoulder, thumbs up, singing, stories, names said, and many other brief moments or bundled ones. These memories, at first, might roll off the person’s or group’s heart as meaningless. Yet, in time, these accumulate like a the threads in a quilt