It is our central role to come into contact peacefully with the broken hearted person in his/her space. The magic of an encounter is that each interaction can be like a grace that showers its mist over a person’s broken heart. These encounters form memories that eventually guide or orient the person to a life based on one’s own goodness and to a groundedness that will point the person in a loving direction throughout life. There is no quick fix, no miracle, no obvious transformation; there is a slow deepening of the roots of feeling safe and loved. Instead of running from us, the person will run toward us with outstretched arms and a smile on the face. Instead of hitting or biting, the person will embrace us. Instead of refusing to do things with us or for us, the person will do things for us and others. The head will be held high instead of bowed. The eyes will have a sparkle instead of a deathly gaze. The miracle is not any change, but the mere encounter, the coming together.

The strong caregiver example and his/her encounter form a moral map, a moral outline, a representation of safe, loved, loving, and human engagement. These are not intellectual memories, but more like an outline of life filled with companionship and supported by a caring community. They are deeper moral memories that point to the right direction in human interactions, give self-esteem, and make us open to friendships and community. The first seedlings involve learning to feel safe and loved and in time these feelings evolve into loving others and grow into each person’s ability to become engaged in his/her life-project.