The heaviest sorrowful memories can actually be seen in most people. The head is bowed and the eyes are closed in a slave-like posture, hunched over, eyes, watching fearfully, face taught, feet shuffling back from us. Eyes take on a deep emptiness as if looking at the living dead or dart back and forth ready to fight or flee from caregivers, indicating sad memories and a sense of despair. The person’s face and body are tightly bound and almost robot-like. There are often screams in the middle of the night and often the horrifying visions and sounds of hallucinations. Scars up and down arm, legs, breasts, and face are seen like haunting road-maps to Hell. This leads to self-harm or flying fists towards us, but we are not us. We are just mixed into a caldron of boiling and bubbling memories.

 

One of our tasks, as we teach the person to feel safe with us and loved by us, is to help the person feel spiritually comfortable with us—giving the person’s favorite drink or sweet, playing a favorite game with the person, looking into the person’s eyes as if looking at an angel, not pressuring or causing any anxiety. We need to approach the person and always come in peace—slowly, quietly, and arms outstretched as a sign of peace, moving as close as possible, but not too close. We should reassure the person that we are not going to make him/her do anything. You just want to be near and then rest. As this goers on, the caregiver needs to sense when he/she can move closer.