How do we use our skills to let a persons know that he/she is safe and slowly and almost invisibly create a loving memory? What should we talk about? Should we touch? Look into his/her eyes? How close should we get? Should our conversations just focus on him/her or both if us. What should our tone and rhythm be? What do we do if he/she always stands in a corner with head bowed and and eyes covered?

In a culture of gentleness there are some starting points in our planned encounters that might be helpful:

  • In the caring community figure out the length of time that any given caregiver should be engaged with a particular person before the encounter becomes difficult for the person to bear;
  • Be in no hurry to get the person “to do” anything. The first goal is to teach the person that it is good to be with us;
  • Make sure that you see the person as your brother or sister, not theoretically, but actually;
  • Talk softly, warmly, and lovingly about his/her goodness and giving reassurance that you will not make him/her do anything;
  • Touch the person’s hand ever so softly for just for a second as often as you can
  • If fear is about to emerge, change your tactic and avoid being demanding;  and,
  • Be aware, we are not about “doing” Gentle Teaching, but about being gentle