Here is what we have to ask of the caring community. What would a brief encounter with a challenging behavior look and feel like, as in the case of a young man with a life story filled with violence and abuse? How long might these momentary encounters last? How do we give them meaning? How do we create memories that become stronger and more meaningful than the old ones. This starts with the caregivers.

The meaning and deepening of new memories arises from our frequent encounters, a sharp focus on prevention, a flexible structure, a consistently strong and loving example, and on-going support to the caregivers.

Our example and focus on teaching memories of being safe and loved have to be intentional. The creation of a culture of gentleness requires our strong intention to do this and the more formal moments in which we spend time with the person have to be equally intentional. Our intention must not be to change anyone’s behaviors but to create these new memories.

 

 

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