We must find joy in the midst of sorrow. In the most difficult encounters it can only be found in our hope. The mother and children in the picture above are obviously suffering. If we were to encounter them, we should ask ourselves what might we do. I do not pretend to know the answer; there might not be an immediate one in the global reality of hunger, thirst, and
I do not pretend to have any quick or easy solutions. The only thing I really know is that when we come face to face with suffering we have an obligation to stop if even for a few moments. We have to exit our offices, cubicles, and nurses stations, put away the text books and the psychiatric books, and simply enter into situations shrouded in suffering —the man crying, the
Gentle Teaching is not about anyone’s behaviors; it is about our values and our moral imaginations—what do we see as decent and good and what are our basic values. I believe that is why I agreed with the young caregiver when she told me to go out and work hands-on with the people. Another old memory that sticks in my heart involved my first visit to a psychiatric hospital. All
The third memory that I recall was the impending death of a young man on death row in Angola, Louisiana. He had done some horrible things—murdering two people. I went to visit him to see if I could write a report on mitigating circumstances surrounding his two murders, The words written above are about my visit. I do not pretend to be a problem-solver, but Henry taught me how we
We cannot know who the “other” is unless we have some insight into who we are. In the picture above we can see the fear and emptiness in this young man’s eyes. His right eye is blackened by violence in the behavior modification facility where he had been confined for over a decade. He is locked up behind Plexiglas. Hope has been sucked out of his heart and replaced with
Those words are so easy to put down on paper, but so very hard to live by. We are often taught to not be so subjective, to be more objective and scientific. Yet, this plea for science is often a façade for the continuation of the same old approaches of the last century. Reports are written on the glory of time out, seclusion, physical management, and aversive punishments. Data are
Our relationship with others, our connectedness with others, is what determines the possibility of healing a broken heart starting out with facilitating the individual’s capacity to feel safe and loved with us and a circle of friends. We have to see “behaviors” as relationship-driven rather than consequence-driven. By helping to create new memories, the person’s violence, isolation, confusion, or even psychosis slowly begin to heal and new memories emerge. Sometimes
A culture of gentleness is very much an integral part of who we are. It is often learned through a person’s faith beliefs; it is also learned through the general belief systems in those who surround us. Our cultures oral tradition or written stories reflect our duty to love our neighbor, our forgiveness to those who wrong us, our helping strangers and those in need. These types of values are
The idea of companionship and community are woven in literature as well. George and Lennie are like us and the “marginalized other.” We are walking with our Lennie and giving the crucial sense of being safe and loved. This story is a metaphor of what human companionship means. The first quotation if form the mouth of Lennie, a simple man whom George watched over sharing a strong and enduring sense
The center of all care-giving (mothering, fathering, grand parenting, teaching, psychiatry, psychology, all clinical supports, mangers, and all hands-on care giving) is our encounter with marginalized others. The caregiver is the “I” who comes into contact with the “Thou” in a process of emerging interdependence. If “I” feel safe and loved on this earth and we come together, then that encounter will eventually lead to a sense of the other